Posts
My sister Meagen asked " If you could buy a puppy what kind would you buy and what would you name it?"
I think these little guys are so cute, I deffinitly think someone should buy one for me =)
My friend Niesha asked me : " What kind of mascara do you use? You always have the prettyiest lashes!!!"
My Answer: Why thank you Niesha. I use Maybelline Turbo Boost Mascara. I use to get the waterproof kind but the only way to get it off was to rip out my eyelashes and well, I like my eyelashes so I just use the regular kind now. I suggest getting the curved brush with it. Curved brushes for mascara are so much better.
My friend Jessica from high school asked: "What happened to your fiancé.. Weren't you engaged at one point? If so.. How did you handle your breakup?"
My answer: Yes I was engaged about 3 years ago. The only thing I got out of that relationship is a lot of bitterness, and a lot of frequent flyer miles on my JetBlue Airline account. A week after we were engaged he was diagnosed with cancer. Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma. I am not going to say that it was all his fault or all my fault that things didn't work out becuase we both had our issues. I dropped everything the minute I found out he had cancer. I was on the red eye 8 hours later after I was told he had cancer. I left everything my job, my family, everything to be with him. It became extremely difficult for me to be away from my family and I became very home sick so I came home. Long distance relationships are extremely difficult even in the most perfect relationships. After he finished his treatments he moved back to Utah and was going to finish school out here. We grew farther and farther apart in just a matter of months. I had thought many times about ending it but the thought of knowing that it may be the wrong decision was worse then just putting up with his bull shit and dealing with it. I came home from work one day to find him with his bags packed and telling me that he never should have asked me to marry him, that he was done, and was moving home. ( I should mention now that this was 3 days before Christmas that the bastard did this to me.) It was one of the worst nights in my life. I laid on my dads lap and cried for just about 5 hours straight. After he moved home we tried to figure out if it was worth trying to work on things and stay together and just hold off on marriage or if there was nothing left to hang on to anymore. It got to the point that neither of us had any fight left in us and we knew that it just would never have worked out and that it just needed to end. I always knew deep down that if it were ment to be things never should have been as hard as they were. Again, he was the one who ended it but not everything was his fault nor was it all my fault. The night I came home to that and he left was just awful.. It was one of those horrible nights that when you wake up you want so badly for it to all be a dream and then when you realize that its not you just get that knot in your stomach that makes you want to throw up. Each day after that it got easier and easier to get over. After everything we had been threw together and how in love I thought I was I thanked God every day and still do that we did not get married, and that I am no longer with him. It got easier to handle when I think about what a blessing it was that he decided to leave before we got married rather then after. I look at that as nothing more then a lesson learned. The things that I thought I wanted back then in a relationship and what I thought I wanted in a husband is NOTHING that I want now. I am a very big believer in that everything happends for a reason. I know that I was put in his life to help him threw his cancer. I had been threw everything he had been threw, doctors, hospitals, surgerys, being sick. And afterward when it all ended I realized that if someone can't see how much I helped them threw such a terrible point in their life, and was there for them no matter what and dropped everything in your life to be with them to help and take care of them he doesn't deserve me. After he left and I was going threw the depression phase of the breakup, I recieved the best advice that I have ever recieved. It was from my doctor and he told me that marriage is not about sex, and being with your best friend for the rest of your life, but its about compromise, but everyone should have 3 things in their life that they are not willing to give up or change for anyone. Whether that is religion belifes, family, whatever if that person truly cares about you that would never ask you to give those things up or change them. That was something that he did not understand. At the time I was still fairly active in the church, He was Catholic. I gave up a Temple Marriage to be with him and he thought that me asking him to give up drinking and doing drugs was just so un reasonable. ( I know... I know how to pick em huh?) Even though it got easier and easier each day to get over it, it was not until I started seeing someone else that I became completely head over heels for that I finally began to feel happy again. Like I said I look at that as just a learning lesson and since the day I packed up the rest of his shit that I had and mailed it back to him I honestly have not even had him cross my mind. ( Until now..) Some days were easier then others to get over what had happened but I am so glad that it is over and done with and that I had the experience to learn what I do and dont want in a husband, a marriage, and a relationship. And I think its safe to say that the only boy a girl can trust his her dad. And my doctor. Hehe.
My mom asked me "What is your greatest accomplishment in life?"
My answer is.. I don't have one. I don't really feel like I have accomplished anything worth feeling proud about. I hope in some point in life I do but as of right now at the age of 22 years old. I don't. I have been at the same job since I was 16 years old and why? Not becuase I like it. I hate it. But becuase I don't like change. I could say graduating High School which sounds pathetic but I was a terrible student. I was more focused on dancing that I couldnt have cared less about my education. But from 10th grade threw the time I graduated I had school once a week. For an hour. My teacher would come to visit me at the hospital or home where ever I was.. he told me to bake him cookies and if they didn't kill him I passed the class. Seriously. If I didn't feel well I would cancle school for the week. So obviously... high school was not to difficult for me to finish. I think of myself to be a very strong person becuase of everythign I have been threw. I am 22 years old who has had 34 surgeries, over 120 IV's numerous hospital stays and the medical bills to prove it since I was 15 years old. I just found out that I have lesions on my brain and at anyday I could go back into renal failure becuase my insurance company wont approve the surgery I am so badly in need of. I have a disease that will never go away and that has pretty much taken over my life and I feel like I have handled everything I have been threw very well and that there isn't anything that I couldnt handle but I don't feel like there is anything that I have accomplished worth answering that question with. Ask me in another 10 years hopefully by then I will have a difference answer.
I would not have been able to handle any of that without my doctor Doctor Woodmansee. He is so amazing and has saved my life on numerous occasions. He is my hero and no matter what I am going threw I know that he will always be there fighting for me. And he even makes house calls to come see me. ... amazing..I know, right!? I love him!* Thank you guys for the questions I had fun answering them. If anyone else has any questions that you would like me to answer ask away I'll answer any. Just leave me a comment with your qusetions!
